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Friday, October 17, 2008

Ahmad Bradshawlics Anonymous Meeting

The following is a parody OF THE AUTHOR (and all others like him) and is not meant to belittle any other people or group of people! Enjoy...

Let's kickoff the first ABA meeting.

I'll start, My name is Andy and I am an Ahmad Bradshawlic. (Brad-sh-aw-lic) It's been 3 games since I have seen a Bradshaw TD. I admit that I cannot control my desire to see Bradshaw carrying the ball. It is not safe when I am in front of the television set on Sunday. I found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of frustration and hopelessness that I did. I found out that I had these feelings because I had the disease of Bradshawlicism.

I decided to try and face up to what Killdrive had done to me. Here are some of the questions I tried to answer honestly. If I answered YES to four or more questions, I was in deep trouble with my desire to have a Bradshaw running play. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.

44 Questions

What is Bradshawlicism?

It is an illness shared by Giants fans like me and you, who need to see Bradshaw playing a lot more.

How can I tell if I am really a Bradshawlic?

Only you can tell. But if you were watching the Seattle game and were not happy with Jacobs running for 44 yards, that you thought that Bradshaw would have been finished dancing in the end zone and already selling peanuts in Section 139 by the time Jacobs got tackled, then you are probably a Bradshawlic.

Can a Bradshawlic ever watch a Giant game 'normally' again?

As far as we know, no, you cannot cease to be a Bradshawlic.

I can avoid a need to see Bradshaw for a game or two in between great runs and pass catches out of the backfield. How can I tell if I need help?

It's how you watch a Bradshaw play, not how often you watch one, that determines whether you are a Bradshawlic. Do you think that every time he touches the ball that he can actually break it to the house? Is this feeling brought on by knowing that you won't see him again for another game after this handoff? If so, it sounds like you are probably are.

Others say I am not a Bradshawlic. But my need to see Bradshaw seems to be getting worse. Should I join ABA?

The Bradshawlic has a problem with his or her unwillingness to admit that Ward and Jacobs are playing really well. They know that Bradshaw can be in the slot, that he is the best pass catcher out of the backfield. They ask themselves why they can't have Bradshaw on third downs. The important decision - am I a Bradshawlic- has to be made by the Giants fan.

Won't everyone know I am a Bradshawlic if I come to ABA meetings at Ultimatenyg?

Anonymity is and always has been the basis for the ABA Ultimatenyg program. Most fans hitting the site have no particular objection if word gets around that they have joined a group that allows them to control their obsession with getting Bradshaw on the field.


Mitch said...

Maybe we need a 12 Step program of Ahmad Bradshawlics...then and only then we will get our wish.

PD2LISN said...

How do I get a sponsor?

xtian said...

haha. the only way to cure bradshawlicism is to imbibe in ahmad play.

jblaze said...


sorry, going through bradshaw withdrawl, kind of angry

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